Well, tomorrow is the big day, New Year’s Eve. Whether it is a night you go all out and hit a fabulous party, hang in and watch the ball drop, or are asleep by 10 p.m; more than likely a little part of you thinks about the past year and the one in front of you. Even if you are steadfast about not doing New Year’s resolutions, if there is something about your life you want to change, a thought or two about how to change has probably popped into your head. It is not your fault. I mean the media bombards us with great New Year resolution ideas and ways to keep them. It is quite predictable as to what we will see on the news, in the papers, in the magazines, and all over social media. Year after year, the week between Christmas and the New Year is all about resolutions.
Why do we make resolutions? Why do we break resolutions? Fear is often a big factor. I began to think of things I am afraid of: snakes, spiders, scorpions, although none of those things have prevented me from spending a great deal of time in the California and Arizona deserts. I am afraid of sharks and sharp objects; yet, I still swim, surf, and use knives while cooking. I am afraid of a number of things that begin with S. Since my name is Sarah, am I afraid of myself as well? Yes. That is exactly what I am afraid of.
Fear, Failure, Rejection, and Resentment, the awful circle of words that surround our resolutions and often the reason we do not achieve them. Fear of failure and or rejection is often why we do not make resolutions, changes, or go for the things we really want to achieve. If you do attempt a resolution and fail or are rejected this can lead to resentment: the worst of them all. Resentments and holding on to those resentments can cause you all sorts of trouble trying to achieve your hopes and dreams.
We can all be really good at pointing to outward things and circumstances as to why we are not achieving our goals, and sometimes outward obstacles can certainly contribute, but not completely. The thing is, most of the time, if we truly look at what we are trying to accomplish and why we did not, it can often circle back to 2 F’s and 2 R’s. Working on removing Fear and Resentment and how to handle potential Failure and Rejection will keep you on track to achieving your true potential. Best wishes for an extremely successful 2015!
Sarah Stewart, MSW, CPC
Life Coach & Author Sarah Stewart Consulting, LLC